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Yancey Williams

Win Shoot the Messenger and a $50 gift card

In case you don’t already know, Yancey Williams’ book Shoot the Messenger is an enchanting love story about murderous psychopaths, contract killers, and totally jilted lovers gone awry. Sounds like a good Valentine’s Day read, doesn’t it? Yeah, we think so, too.

We’d like you to win a copy, so we’re making it easy. Use the entry gateway to follow us on Twitter and Facebook and tell us which character in Shoot the Messenger you’re most like in the comments section below.

Elvis Octavius Palmer
Little man as in little people in today’s sqeaky-clean, spruced up vernacular. Midget to others. Ego more than sufficiently compensates for diminutive stature. Profession: Psychopathic contract killer. Previously, drug dealer. Well versed as hustler, pimp, and handy man to the malevolent and maladjusted. Positive attributes include a quick, demented wit, bawdy eye for pole dancers and night club strippers, as well as coefficiently equipped to handle any disturbingly filthy job you don’t want to do yourself. If you can call those attributes?

Vladimir Gagarin Yeltsin
Yes, cousin to cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin. Or so he claims. Who knows? Ex-Russian mobster. For sure. Otherwise, believe what you want? If in his company, say you believe. Profession: Hit Man. Period. Attributes. None, less the soft spot for Elvis and an overcompensatingly salacious, anatomical affinity for the opposite sex. Is groping ever listed as an attribute? I didn’t think so.

Harriett O’Connor
The beautifully sensuous, unfaithful Yuppie-wife to the very wealthy, philandering Harry Axel O’Connor. Lover to Earnest Darwin, investment tycoon and candidate for the United States Congress. Harry, the wealthy, philandering husband is in Harriett’s way. Earnest’s too. Harriett’s used to getting her way. Not good for Harry. Profession: Yuppie housewife. Attributes: Beautifully sensual. Penchant for tiger sex.

Earnest Darwin
CEO of Galapagos Capital. In his spare time with his spare change, he’s running for the United States Congress. Additional sideline: ensnaring eligible women. Enter Harriett O’Connor. Or enter Earnest Darwin. It all depends on who you ask. Profession: Investment Banker. Attributes: Financially secure in spades. Penchant for tiger sex.

Thornton Alpert
Father. Husband. Profession: Insurance adjustor. The unassuming and unguarded target of Harriett O’Connor who’s looking to Alpert as a disposable means to collect on her dead (murdered) husband’s life insurance policy. Attributes: Willingly efficient and putty in the hands of the aforementioned Harriett O’Connor.

WhoreHay ManWell Reconquista Gonzalez
Illegal immigrant or undocumented immigrant as referenced now by the most politically correct of modern day verbage navigators. Profession: A trespassing, border-hopping little thief feigning employment as the O’Connor’s (hired by Harry primarily to appease Harriett or so it seems) handy man. Attributes: Self preservation.

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Yancey Williams

Holiday gifts from Yancey Williams

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? We’re getting down to the wire with Christmas shopping: the malls are packed, the roads are overrun with traffic. Instead of braving the retail madness out there, order a gift from the comfort of wherever you’re sitting right now. Books make the best gifts because they are easy to buy online, they stimulate and entertain the mind and they can be shared afterward.

But don’t just listen to us. Here’s what some others have to say about why books make great gifts:

“Books make great gifts because they can unveil hidden secrets.” –Dan Brown

“Books make great gifts because they have whole worlds inside them, and it’s much cheaper to buy somebody a book than it is to buy them the whole world.” –Neil Gaiman

“Books make great gifts because… [they don’t] come in any particular size, so you don’t have to be embarrassed if you bought somebody the wrong size.” –Valerie Bertinelli

“Books make great gifts because in a time of trouble, they can take the reader personally into a place of hope.”–Glenn Beck

“Books make great gifts because they’re everybody’s favorite things.” –Julie Andrews

“Books make great gifts because they’re something you love that you can share.” –John Lithgow

“[Books are] the most fun you can have for under $25. You and your significant other can’t go to a movie and buy popcorn and have that much fun!” –Al Roker

“Books make great gifts because you don’t have to plug them in.” –Alec Baldwin

A few books we highly recommend as gifts during the 2013 holiday season? Rome and Joliet, Shoot the Messenger and Worlds Apart. All three books are now available at BarnesandNoble.com. Shop now!